Imperfectly Perfect

We celebrated LCC's 5th birthday over the weekend. As a general rule I try to plan my way out of thinking too much about anything, but in recent months I have tried to "think" about everything. Here are some of the things rattling around in my brain...
1. I miss my mother terribly. Losing her changed me in ways I can't explain. My life is different than I pictured it 10 years ago. She is not here, and she was a huge part of my future dreams...however this is the life God has given me and I am determined to make her proud of me and the woman I have become (this includes dealing with things that don't fit my "plan").
2. My oldest baby is going to be five in 3 short days. Have I taken the time to enjoy every minute with her during these last 5 years. Have I been the best mom I could be? Am I raising her to glorify the Lord in everything she does?
3. Am I aware of how much I really have? I find myself spending way too much time planning for more space, more time, our next vacation, thinking about next weekend, thinking about when the kiddos will be old enough to do...whatever. Shame on me, I must learn to live in the moment, and cliche as it may sound...live as if I will have no tomorrow...I learned that from my mom as well.
4. I have a job! Of that, I am thankful, but I forget how many wish they were in my position. Some days are tough, but that does not replace the fact, that I get paid to do something that could conceivably change the world.
5. Will "Little Man" ever stop whining...OK, this just shows that my life is imperfectly perfect. I'm sure this thought crosses all parent's minds at some point, but all too often we feel alone in the "dark" areas of motherhood. It is normal, and yes someday he will stop and not want me every minute of every day, so I should enjoy it now....maybe tomorrow.

Imperfectly perfect...that's me, and that is who God made me to be!!

T- 4 days and counting

Time is running out....summer is almost over!!!
The Crocker family is trying to enjoy our final days of the relaxed, lazy days we have grown accustomed to living (at least 3 of us). I must admit I have considered the need for medication...

1. Camden is starting Kindergarten this year (at my school, no less).
2. I am switching from teaching 5th grade to teaching 4th grade. In the long run this will produce less stress, but the task of all new lesson plans is daunting.
3. Construction is not picking up, and therefore Clay's job in Construction Services, not really thriving.

Things keeping me sane:

1. Clay, incredibly helpful and caring. I contribute this to his hours playing Call of Duty and therefore displacing his aggression.
2. I really enjoy the schedule that being back in school provides.
3. Fall is my favorite, favorite, favorite (it deserves adjective repeat) season of all times.
4. I work with the most amazing group of people who are full of ideas and are willing to share/help in any way possible.

Bear with me as I start this endeavor of blogging and "Step into the Light"